DC Police Blotter: Student Protests

DYSTOPIA–The Dystopia College campus police responded Wednesday afternoon to calls concerning a student protest on the campus quadrangle.

Officers did in fact find a small group of students protesting everything in general, sitting quietly among the weeds holding signs saying, “It doesn’t even matter anymore,” but because it was a peaceful protest with no apparent direction or motive, they decided to leave well enough alone, according to DC Police Capt. Cranky Lawless.

He added that such protests have become common since the economy tanked, the job market dried up, state funding decreased, and the college terminated several faculty and staff members– and dramatically reduced its course offerings, especially in the arts and humanities.

Copyright 2016

T. Allen Culpepper

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