DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College President Overly Payed-Admyn announced today that the college will be changing the titles of its core courses to reflect the realities of today’s world.
Specifically, the labels “STEM” and “Business” will be added to all course titles at Dystopia. For example, the course previously titled “World Literature I” will now be titled “STEM and Business World Literature I.”
Asked whether the changes will affect only the course titles or the course content as well, Payed said the content of the courses will not change significantly, but the pedagogical methods will be adjusted appropriately. Pressed for details, he said that students will still be introduced to literary classics from around the world, but they will no longer be expected to actually read those works. Instead, they will be asked to go online and read the SparkNotes.
Payed said he respects the opinions of faculty members who have expressed concerns that this approach will water down students’ education, “but with all due respect, surely they don’t think the students were actually doing the reading anyway!”
But why bother with changing the course titles? “It’s pretty simple really,” Payed said. “Now when potential employers look at students’ transcripts, they will see ‘STEM’ and ‘business’over and over, and that will tell them that our focus is squarely on workplace development.”
“I don’t know exactly what ‘workplace development’ means,” he conceded, but I do know that people talk about it a lot, and that means it’s good.”
T. Allen Culpepper