DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College will be offering a new creative writing course this fall, English Chair Donna B. Askenme announced today. The course, “STEM and Business Poetry Writing for Whiny Millenials,” has no prerequisites, and requires no writing ability or previous experience with poetry.
According to Prof. Owen Hornblower, who will be teaching the class, the course is intended for untalented emo students straight out of high school who want to wallow in their own misery. No reading will be required, and the course will have no standards; instead, pass/fail grading will be based on the quantity rather than the quality of the “writing” students produce.
“The important thing,” Hornblower said, “will not be whether the students have any talent or anything to say, nor on the quality of the ‘work’ they produce. It is my belief that what’s most important is the whining process, not its product.”
“In other words,” he clarified, “this is a total blowoff course for an easy A.”
As for serious students wanting feedback on their work, “This is not the class for you. I don’t even read this shit.”
For more information about the course, contact Prof. Hornblower by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
T. Allen Culpepper