DC Police Blotter: Suspected Shooter False Alarm

DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College campus police responded Thursday afternoon to calls regarding what appeared to be a man carrying a semi-concealed assault rifle, but the incident was a false alarm, according to Capt. Cranky Lawless.

Lawless said the suspected “shooter” turned out to be junior STEM major and Dystopia Marching Albatross band member Matt Geekman, who was headed to band practice carrying his trombone wrapped in a black plastic yard-waste bag because of the Thursday’s unexpected rainstorm.

Geekman said he resorted to the bag because he had to pawn his trombone case to buy a meal after spending the last of his life savings on the new edition of the textbook required for his calculus class.

Copyright 2016

T. Allen Culpepper

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