Chaplain Adapts Prayer to Lessen Offense

DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College Chaplain the Rev. Nada N. Particlear, a Unitarian Universalist minister who is often asked to say say a prayer at campus events, but to “keep it light and inoffensive,” has devised an adaptation of the Lord’s Prayer that he thinks he can use without much offense.

The prayer, which he agreed to share, reads as follows:

“Presence, that might or might not exist somewhere, nameless, what goes around comes around. Give us all whatever we want, and let our own unfortunate miscalculations slide as we avoid openly doing anything especially nasty to others. Lead us in the direction we already want to go, and don’t let anyone shoot us or blow us up today. For yours are whatever traits you might happen to possess. Amen.”

Particlear said he fears “hard-core atheists and perhaps a few Satanists” will still object to the prayer, but he thinks members of most major religions will hear it in the spirit, or lack thereof, in which it is intended and not take offense.

 

Copyright 2016

T. Allen Culpepper

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