DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College Athletic Director B. G. Dik said he is “relieved” following a visit by a contingent of representatives from the Insignificant College Athletic Association (ICAA) last week.
The ICAA representatives met with Dik as part of an ongoing investigation into allegations that Dystopia’s athletic department lured prospective star athletes to the college with extravagant gifts and bribed current student athletes to keep quiet about the illegal recruiting procedures.
Asked whether his relief results from being cleared of the recruiting violations, Dik responded, “Oh, hell no. I’m just relieved that they wanted to talk about those checks I signed. I thought they were here to ask nosy questions about those boys in the shower.”
T. Allen Culpepper