Systems Going Down at Dystopia

DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College’s course-management system, Blackout, and Web-based enrollment system, Redflag, will be down for routine maintenance throughout the first week of fall classes, according to Dystopia Information Technology Director Long Way Gho.

“I know we get some complaint about this timing,” Gho wrote in an email message to the college’s faculty and staff,” but we get complaint whenever we do it, and maintenance have to be done some time.”  Once this round of maintenance is complete, he wrote, “we don’t need to take system down again until time to submit final grades.”

Gho first attempted to notify personnel of the upcoming system downtime last week, but many people did not receive his original message because of problems with Lockout, the college’s email application, which has functioned only intermittently during the last couple of months, so he had to reissue the announcement today.

Gho said the problems with Lockout apparently resulted from damage to some cables that occurred when work crews were doing site-preparation for construction of the college’s new circular driveway, but the problems have now been resolved, “at least until some idiot dig up cable again.”

Responding in a follow-up email to a question about what students, faculty, and staff should do in the unlikely event that they want to take care of some class-related business during while the systems are down, Gho wrote, “You wait. They come back.”

He asked members of the campus community to please refrain from attempting to call in complaints to his office because, “Telecrap phone system broken right now.”

Copyright 2016

T. Allen Culpepper

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