DYSTOPIA–Marching Albatross Band Director Jasmine “Jazzy” Drumline says she is working on updating Dystopia College’s alma mater and fight song to make them “more accessible to today’s Dystopia community.”
Dr. Drumline said the traditional arrangement of Dystopia’s alma mater, “Dream the Dystopian Dream,” which has been in use “for decades–since long before my time,” is written in the key of F-sharp minor and employs some “interesting harmonization.” These two attributes combined make the song “difficult for amateur musicians to perform” and “virtually impossible for drunk people to sing.” As a result, it has not worked well for recent ceremonial occasions at Dystopia.
The problem with the college’s fight song, “‘Trosses, Take a Dive,” is the lyrics, which “students have a tendency to willfully misconstrue.” She said not only the song’s title, which she has often heard delivered as “tossers, take a dive,” but certain other lines, such as “swoop down on some Sailors” can “certainly be taken out of context. Fortunately, its music (“if you could call it that'”) is not an issue. “It’s in C, and it’s crap, she said, “but perfectly singable crap.”
T. Allen Culpepper