DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College is currently seeking an intermittent temporary part-time lecturer in psychology. The job requires a master’s degree in whatever and at least three hours of graduate coursework in psychology or an at least tangentially related discipline, as well as a teaching philosophy compatible with the Dystopian vision. Compensation commensurate with experience (as a busser, supermarket sacker, or fast-food worker).
To apply, submit a completed Dystopia College application for employment, along with a curriculum vita or resume with no more than three misspelled words, three letters of reference, a statement of teaching philosophy, and copies of your most entertaining student comments from Rate My Professors. Employment will be contingent upon passing a drug test and a mental health assessment, as well as approval of the Dystopia College president and board of regents.
Candidates desperate enough to still be reading at this point can find more information and the application form online at http://www.dystopia.edu/humanresources. Please do not call the Dystopia College Human Resources Department; if you do, you will regret it.
T. Allen Culpepper