DYSTOPIA–In response to the escalating costs–to the college and to its employees–of health-insurance coverage, Dystopia College is dropping its current insurance carrier and switching to “that company with the lizard,” according to Human Resources Director Stan G. Beech.
Beech said the new carrier was chosen because it offers “cheap insurance and clever TV commercials.” He said quality of coverage and accessibility of customer service were “not really factors” in the decision. “It’s really all about the money,” he said. “We saved 20 percent.”
Beech said he is sure that the company will provide “the minimum it can get away with, just like all the other companies do.” Nevertheless, he advised employees and their dependents to avoid illness and injury, just as a precaution.
T. Allen Culpepper