College Makes List Again

DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College has once again made the list of Top 25 Career-Ending Colleges to Run Fastest From.

The annual list, published by the Postsecondary Education Record, ranks Dystopia at No. 17.  The college has appeared consistently on the list for the past decade.

Dystopia President Overly Payeed-Admyn said he is “neither impressed nor distressed” by his college’s placement on the list. “I don’t have a lot of confidence in lists and don’t generally pay much attention to them,” he said.

Nevertheless, the repeated appearance on the list “shows Dystopia’s consistency, and there’s something to be said for that.”  Besides, Dystopia’s position toward the middle of the list makes it clear that “no matter how bad we are, some places are even worse.”

He said he’s not worried that the negative publicity will hurt recruitment of faculty and students because “our new faculty wouldn’t come here if they had other options, our current faculty are stuck, and our students have the test scores of lower primates.”

Copyright 2016

T. Allen Culpepper

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