DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College campus police responded to an altercation at the Dead Albatross Saturday night after a group of English majors got into a heated argument about whether Rimbaud or Breton was the more surreal poet, according to police spokesperson Capt. Cranky Lawless.
Lawless said only minor physical injuries were involved, but a couple of egos were badly bruised, and a bottle of absinthe was spilled.
“It got pretty rowdy there for a minute,” according to senior Rich Kidd, who said he was present but remained neutral, adding “I’m a Mallarme man myself.”
No arrests were made, but officers escorted the two instigators, junior Beyonda Real (a Breton fan) and sophomore sophomore Marc Mywords (a Rimbaud supporter) back to their residence hall. Witnesses said Real appeared to be winning when police arrived
Friends of Mywords said he’s “a stubborn little bastard,”though, and he was heard to mutter, “Fuck all those fucking fuckers. It’s fucking Rimbaud all the way,” just before slamming the door to his room.
T. Allen Culpepper