Dystopia Bans Jokes about Banning Jokes

DYSTOPIA–Jokes about banning jokes have been banned at Dystopia College, President Overly Payeed-Admyn announced today.

“It is important to show respect to all members of the Dystopia community,” Payeed said, “and jokes about joke-banning are patently offensive to the humorless, soulless, droning killjoys who objected to joking in the first place,” apparently referring to a group of students and faculty members who have been campaigning against the use of humor in the classroom, on the grounds that jokes are often unintentionally offensive to some of the people present.

Sophomore Dismal D. Meenor, who has been participating in the campaign, said she enrolled in college “to be serious and make sacrifices” and is insulted when her professors and classmates attempt to “make learning fun.”  She said an enjoyable classroom atmosphere interferes with implementation of her martyr complex.

She said she is offended when people make jokes in the classroom, she is offended when people joke about her being offended, and she is offended by everything Payeed says, “especially when he talks about not offending people.”

Si R. Faze, assistant professor of English and literature theory and also one of the campaigners, said he objects both to the injection of pleasure into the classroom and to jokes in general, because he has no sense of humor and is offended when people point to this trait “as if it were a character flaw or something.”

Asst. Prof. of Biology Zoe Logique, on the other hand, popular with her students because of her humor-filled lectures on plant life, says the “no-jokers” are “just the kind of people who want to ruin everyone’s day.”  She said studies have shown (“you know, those studies, by those people who study that kind of thing”) that the use of humor facilitates learning, and that “some people are just too easily offended.”

Owen Hornblower, asst. prof. of English, agreed.  Hornblower said no one takes his offensive jokes seriously, and he takes care to “offend every possible group and type of student equally.”

Sometimes-employed, almost-tenured Asst. Prof. of Psychology Sigourney Froyt said that if she “weren’t allowed to use black humor to diffuse” her depression, she would “not be alive today,” adding that she suspects she is “in good company” with many members of the Dystopia community–students, faculty, and staff alike.

Student Privi Ledger said she thinks “most of the classes here are pretty much a joke anyway, so you might as well laugh.” She added that she laughs at her professors and classmates, not with them.

Freshman Solo Wallflower said he enjoys humor in the classroom, “as long as  I can just smirk quietly and don’t have to participate.”

Provost Eddina Field said she supports Payeed’s ban on joke-banning jokes because “he pays me to,” but she admitted that enforcing a ban on jokes about banning joking will be “just as difficult as enforcing a ban on joking” and joked that she herself often enjoys “a good laugh about the ludicrousness of Dystopia,” usually right before she dissolves into a state of disconsolate weeping.

Copyright 2016

T. Allen Culpepper




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