DYSTOPIA–A new, greatly simplified process for scheduling events and requesting funds now in place Dystopia College Student Activities Director John “Happy Jack” Plumber has informed student organization officers and advisors.
The new procedure is quite straightforward, Plumber said:
Organizations wanting to do anything will complete a Request to Request a Form (RRF). One the RRF has been completed and approved by 17 administrators at various levels, the organization will authorized to request a form.
They will then receive a Form Selection Form (FSF), which will allow them to specify the type of form they with to complete–to schedule meetings (MSF), reserve a room for an event (RRE), travel to a conference (CT), take a field trip (FT), request funding (RSOFP, RSOFT, RSOFTFR), etc.
Once an organization has complete the FSF, they will then receive the appropriate form for the particular event or activity they have in mind. They will complete this form, an RRE, for example, and submit it to Student Activities, and then it will be circulated to the 17 administrators again. If the request is approved, the organization will receive an approval confirmation form (ACF).
Unless, of course, the request involves travel or money, in which case they will need to complete additional documentation:
For travel: A driver’s license, passport, student ID card, waiver form, and authorization to travel (ATT) for each student and advisor traveling; approval of the 17 administrators; and a sacrificial goat.
For funding: A detailed RFF (request for funding), along with a separate form for each of the various kinds of funding, which include type 11, type 47, type 88, type 107, and type 511, each of which requires different documentation; plus a copy of each club member’s most recent tax return, and two sacrificial goats. Funding request will require approval of the Student Government Association, the 17 administrators, and the Oracle at Delphi.
The answers to most question that might arise can be found in the new 923-page PDF of the Dystopia College Student Organizations Manual. With the tortoise-chasing speed of Dystopia’s internet connection, the unsearchable manual loads in less than 3 hours.
“We just like to keep things simple and transparent,” Plumber said, “so students will be eager to propose activities and won’t be discouraged by complex procedural requirements.”
T. Allen Culpepper