DC News Brief: “No ‘Teach,’ No ‘Learn'”

DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College has adopted a No “Teach,” No “Learn” policy, which bans use of the words “teach” and “learn” in institutional communication about educational practices, Verb Czar  Obie Seth Witverben has proclaimed.

From this point forward, Witverven said, professors must “empower” their students to “actualize” knowledge. According to Vitverben, who got a C- in English 102 during his own student days, his “vast knowledge of meaningless ‘verbiage'” came first from Doom’s Taxidermy but has now been ameliorated via a new knowledge-actualization tool, Revenge through Obfuscatory Terminological Oppression by Wilt D. Fleur.

English faculty, as well as most speakers of actual English, are expected to protest, but Witverban said he will “transcend any conflictual scenarios” as usual.

 

Copyright 2016

T. Allen Culpepper

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s