DYSTOPIA–Dystopia College campus police responded to a distress call on Monday evening and were able to rescue a student who had fallen into a campus rut and was unable to extricate himself, according to police spokesperson Capt. Cranky Lawless.
The student, who had been pushed into the STEM rut by college advisors, said he subsequently realized that he doesn’t like science, technology, engineering, or math, and would be horrified if faced with the prospect of a lifelong career in one of those fields. The student, a virtuoso violinist who speaks five languages and just published his second novel, said he found himself trapped, but the more he tried to dig his way out, the deeper he sank.
Fortunately, Lawless said, officers were able to pull the student from the rut and transport him to the Mal Hayes Wellness Center for mental-health counseling and assistance with making arrangements for transfer to a more appropriate college.
T. Allen Culpepper