DC News Brief: Adjunct Becomes Spokesperson for Coffeehouse

DYSTOPIA–In a surprise to everyone, Dystopia College Adjunct Prof. of English Will Bardly has become a spokesperson for the local coffeehouse Rocket Fuel Coffee.

Bardly, who, until recently, drank only organic green tea and Kool-Aid. After giving up the Kool-Aid (“just not good for you really”), however, he become “seriously addicted” to caffeine and “started to see the light.”

As a result of ditching Kool-Aid and taking up coffee, “everything has changed,” Bardly said, and he is “seeing everything in a new light.”   He said it is like he was “seeing everything in a daze,” whereas now he is “seeing everything in the cold, grey light of dawn.”

“Rocket Fuel Coffee. Fuck, I love this shit,”  Bardly says in the local media ads.

Copyright 2016

T. Allen Culpepper

 

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